I Am Number Four, Alex Pettyfer

Directed by D.J. Caruso. Starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Teresa Palmer.

A wannabe alien superhero flick that sorta reminds you of the Twilight series in that there are pretty teenagers with less-than-awesome powers being all coy, romantic and pretentious.

D.J. Caruso gave us films like Disturbia and Eagle Eye. So the hopes aren’t really high anyway. With I Am Number Four he gives us the tale of fallen aliens surviving on Earth and evading the deadly Magadorians who are out to exterminate the nine planet Lorien castaways and their warrior protectors so they may gain control of the planet without any resistance from their powerful foes.

Pretty boy Alex Pettyfer plays the titular number four (pity the ones called number two and number one) who has been on the run with his ‘father’ and protector (Olyphant) all his life. When his latent powers manifest, mainly with glowing alien symbols on his leg and palms, then people tend to take videos on their phones and post them on youtube. So he must flee. Perhaps covering up and wearing gloves would be a good idea. His protector simply hacks and deletes the incriminating film evidence. And viola, no one bothers. (Shakes head in disbelief)

Finally in the town of Paradise Ohio, young number four falls for a pretty young number and refuses to budge. The burly bad guys with their bald heads, badly done temporary tattoos and strange gills around their noses track him down and well… bleh. (Couldn’t care less)

The whole light emitting hands look like torches (and he even uses them as flashlights in the film) and his powers make Peewee Herman look like Superman. Come on, blowing up glass street lamps! Really now, we’re not in the 80s anymore director Caruso.

Throughout the film you can tell they’re trying to build up a ‘legacy’ and make this a franchise. But all the terminology and alien references just fly past you as you laugh at the trite lines and mediocre plot. The romance between number four and his girlfriend (Dianna Agron) is reminiscent of Twilight’s nauseating lead couple. The only fun is when number six (Palmer) with her hot motorbike and sexy Aussie accent bursts on to the scene making number four look like a chipmunk. But by then it’s too late. You’re like whateva.

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