<Review by: Sailesh Ghelani>

Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel McHale, Patrick Warburton.

The creator of cult animated TV show Family Guy, Seth McFarlane directs his first feature film and even stars in it (well his voice at least). A talking teddy bear, you say? Well he also does drugs, fucks prostitutes and has a fistfight with Mark Wahlberg. You’ll either love it or hate it.

Right from the start of this film you’ll see it has a very wicked sense of humour. No surprises for those of you who know Seth McFarlane’s work. I love the little storybook narration of the little boy and his lonely existence and his wish that his only friend in the world – Teddy – would come to life and really say more to him than just ‘I Love You’ when he pressed its chest. Oh and can you guess who the voice for the narrator is? Sci-fi fans will get it I’m sure and it’s one of Seth’s favourite series I’m guessing.

Little John Bennett’s wish comes true and Teddy becomes the world’s first talking toy (well apart from Barney the Dinosaur!). The world marvels in his magnificence and then as time goes by Ted becomes part of the landscape or rather part of the routine. But Ted’s undying bond with John (Mark Wahlberg) remains eternal: they are thunder buddies (since they’re scared of thunder and will share a bed when there’s a storm). This however does not go down too well with John’s girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis, who also is a voice cast in Family Guy). If they are to go to ‘the next level’ (as women so pedantically put it) then Ted has to go.

Okay now this isn’t some cutesy rom-com. This is some serious fucking shit. Yup, don’t be prudish now. Cause Ted (voiced by Seth McFarlane, who does Peter Griffin on Family Guy, and they joke about that in this movie) grows up to do drugs from a bong with his buddy John. Ted also sleeps with four hookers at a time and guzzles bottles of beer. He also fucks his co-worker at a grocery store in the storeroom on the produce. Okay, so that gives you an idea of what to expect. But it’s all done with a crude finesse. It’s not slapstick or ridiculous. There’s heart and warmth in there.

Seth McFarlane’s obvious love of the 80s shines through this film with his homage to the movies and TV shows of the time. There’s the Flash Gordon movie (yes I remember that one and loved it for all its cheesy, campy, sci-fi glory) and hero Sam Jones – who makes an extended cameo appearance in the movie, much to the delight of John, Ted and well… me – and then there are little things like John’s iPhone ringtone: the Knight Rider opening theme. I think Hollywood is definitely missing the good ol’ days.

Apart from the strained relationship between John and Ted due to the presence of a woman trying to ‘change’ things, there’s a small side story of a seriously weird father and son trying to procure the talking teddy for their own sinister pleasures. Giovanni Ribisi as the twisted dad is perfect. Mark Wahlberg is his usual self in baggy sweatshirts and jogging pants but he is superbly complemented by Mila Kunis, the strong willed woman who does end up showing she has a heart too.

As a debut for Seth McFarlane this film is a triumph. His magical touch has made a film that could easily have lapsed into a farce into a well-told fairy tale with a modern twist.