<Review by: Sailesh Ghelani>

Directed by Paul Tibbitt. Starring Tom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, Rodger Bumpass, Clancy Brown, Carolyn Lawrence, Douglas Lawrence, Tim Conway, Rob Paulsen, Antonio Banderas

No I’m not a viewer of this TV cartoon that is meant for childish adults apparently. This movie gave me a headache, it made me grimace and hate the pants off of the makers of the film.

This is the second film for this frustrating set of characters that have been created with absolutely no sense of imagination or artistic dexterity. The humour is lacklustre, crass and trite. There’s lots of shouting and screaming that makes you want to cover your ears in absolute terror since you’re being assaulted visually too by the butt-ugly characters of this uninspired ‘universe’. And what the fuck was Antonio Banderas doing in the film? I guess they all have bills to pay!

For anyone who says that this movie is for kids I’d advise you to go watch it first before letting your child see it. There are lots of vulgar metaphors and words, some crass moments and subliminal sexual contexts. I’m all for sexy but I felt horrible after watching this film about a group of underwater creatures living in a place called ‘Bikini Bottom’ who just love eating ‘Krabby Patties’ made by SpongeBob Squarepants from a secret formula of Mr Krabs. But the secret formula is stolen – not by arch nemesis Plankton – but SpongBob and Plankton are suspects and the whole town goes to ‘hell’ trying to find it.

Surreal is what best describes some of the scenes in SpongeBob. Like time travelling to a triangular space station where a dolphin oversees the galaxy but needs a bathroom break since he’s been there 10,000 years.

I found none of the dialogue in the film funny. Watching Antonio Banderas ham acting as a pirate who simply let out hysterical laughs and muffled threats through a beard that certainly has a lot of poop in it (I’ve been reading about how beards apparently are full of poop; so much for journalism nowadays!).

You’ll only enjoy this film if you’re a fan of the animated series already or someone who likes this genre of crappy humourless and horrid cartoon making.