<Sailesh Ghelani>
Yes we have our Favourite Films of 2012 (read about them here) but we also have a list of films we didn’t like so much, hated, despised, loathed and downright died watching. Some were pointless sequels trying to cash in on their name, some were mindless remakes and others were so full of incomprehensible antics and plot holes we found ourselves stumbling through them with our jaws agape with horror and our heads nodding in dismal disapproval. If you found some that you thought were mercilessly crappy then add them in the comments below. For now, here’s our list.
1. Piranha 3DD
If your only excuse to watch this film is the promise of bikini clad women with large breasts bouncing up and down or that the first Piranha film was watchable with decent 3D then be warned: Piranha 3DD is one of the worst films you’ll ever see.
Watch the trailer:
2. John Carter
Someone told me that the story of this film, decades in the making, inspired Star Wars and Avatar. Yes, but this ‘original’ too late, too dull and too vacuous to even be counted among those popular films.
Watch the trailer:
3. Taken 2
In order to save himself and his kidnapped wife, Liam Neeson’s character tells his daughter to hurl grenades anywhere around Istanbul so he can hear if she’s closer to him. This is just one of the many inanities of this apocryphal film that made me laugh out loud at the sheer stupidity of it all.
Watch the trailer:
4. Resident Evil: Retribution
You may not have watched all the Resident Evil films, and that’s okay. You haven’t missed much. In this fifth installment of a franchise clearly past its sell-by date, you get a film that is so mind-numbingly barren that you don’t even wonder why it didn’t go straight to DVD; it should have gone straight to the bin!
Watch the trailer:
5. The Bourne Legacy
I’m not a huge fan of the original trilogy but I’m pretty sure fan or not, you’re won’t like this ‘standalone’ instalment very much. Jeremy Renner is like cardboard and I’d rather have watched the whole movie with just Rachel Weisz.
Watch the trailer:
6. Prometheus
To those who aren’t Alien fans this film will simply be a strange sci-fi movie that is visually nice to look at. To most Alien fans Prometheus will represent a sort of disappointment and will reaffirm the fact that they don’t make them like they used to.
Watch the trailer:
7. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
I heard this one wasn’t so good but Tim Burton’s name on the producing credits makes one’s heart hope a bit for delicious dark brilliance. Unfortunately, it’s to be expected only when he is the director.
Watch the trailer:
8. Chasing Mavericks
‘Based on a true story’ doesn’t impress us much nowadays. Chasing Mavericks is a lengthy coming-of-age story that is replete with cliché and formula that just drag on till a climax with not much payoff.
Watch the trailer:
9. Jab Tak Hai Jaan
A movie full of ridiculous plot points and a horrible first half – partly due to Katrina Kaif’s lack of acting talent – Jab Tak Hai Jaan would have been a complete write-off if it weren’t for Anushka Sharma’s splendid performance.
Watch the trailer:
10. Yeh Khula Aasmaan
Thinking Yeh Khula Aasman to be a niche film and seeing that it has won some awards internationally I figured I’d catch this Hindi film. Never again will I make this mistake.
Watch the trailer:
PS: I also wanted to add Life of Pi here but even though I thought it was just overhyped and utterly dull, enough people seem to have liked it for me to think it may have just been an off day when I watched it. Though I still don’t think I like the film or its characters. Perhaps it was just cool to like the film for most people and I’ve also been told that those who have read Yann Martel’s Life of Pi were impressed with director Ang Lee’s adaptation of such a heavy piece of fiction.
0
comments