<Sailesh Ghelani>

Yes we have our Favourite Films of 2012 (read about them here) but we also have a list of films we didn’t like so much, hated, despised, loathed and downright died watching. Some were pointless sequels trying to cash in on their name, some were mindless remakes and others were so full of incomprehensible antics and plot holes we found ourselves stumbling through them with our jaws agape with horror and our heads nodding in dismal disapproval. If you found some that you thought were mercilessly crappy then add them in the comments below. For now, here’s our list.

1. Piranha 3DD

Piranha 3DD movie poster

If your only excuse to watch this film is the promise of bikini clad women with large breasts bouncing up and down or that the first Piranha film was watchable with decent 3D then be warned: Piranha 3DD is one of the worst films you’ll ever see.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

2. John Carter

John Carter (of Mars) poster

Someone told me that the story of this film, decades in the making, inspired Star Wars and Avatar. Yes, but this ‘original’ too late, too dull and too vacuous to even be counted among those popular films.

Read the full review here. 

Watch the trailer:

3. Taken 2

Taken 2 movie poster

In order to save himself and his kidnapped wife, Liam Neeson’s character tells his daughter to hurl grenades anywhere around Istanbul so he can hear if she’s closer to him. This is just one of the many inanities of this apocryphal film that made me laugh out loud at the sheer stupidity of it all.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

4. Resident Evil: Retribution

Resident Evil: Retribution movie poster

You may not have watched all the Resident Evil films, and that’s okay. You haven’t missed much. In this fifth installment of a franchise clearly past its sell-by date, you get a film that is so mind-numbingly barren that you don’t even wonder why it didn’t go straight to DVD; it should have gone straight to the bin!

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

5. The Bourne Legacy

The Bourne Legacy movie poster

I’m not a huge fan of the original trilogy but I’m pretty sure fan or not, you’re won’t like this ‘standalone’ instalment very much. Jeremy Renner is like cardboard and I’d rather have watched the whole movie with just Rachel Weisz.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

6. Prometheus

Prometheus movie poster

To those who aren’t Alien fans this film will simply be a strange sci-fi movie that is visually nice to look at. To most Alien fans Prometheus will represent a sort of disappointment and will reaffirm the fact that they don’t make them like they used to.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

7. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter movie poster

I heard this one wasn’t so good but Tim Burton’s name on the producing credits makes one’s heart hope a bit for delicious dark brilliance. Unfortunately, it’s to be expected only when he is the director.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

8. Chasing Mavericks

Chasing Mavericks movie poster

‘Based on a true story’ doesn’t impress us much nowadays. Chasing Mavericks is a lengthy coming-of-age story that is replete with cliché and formula that just drag on till a climax with not much payoff.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

9. Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Jab Tak Hai Jaan movie poster

A movie full of ridiculous plot points and a horrible first half – partly due to Katrina Kaif’s lack of acting talent – Jab Tak Hai Jaan would have been a complete write-off if it weren’t for Anushka Sharma’s splendid performance.

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

10. Yeh Khula Aasmaan

Yeh Khula Aasman movie poster

Thinking Yeh Khula Aasman to be a niche film and seeing that it has won some awards internationally I figured I’d catch this Hindi film. Never again will I make this mistake. 

Read the full review here.

Watch the trailer:

 

PS: I also wanted to add Life of Pi here but even though I thought it was just overhyped and utterly dull, enough people seem to have liked it for me to think it may have just been an off day when I watched it. Though I still don’t think I like the film or its characters. Perhaps it was just cool to like the film for most people and I’ve also been told that those who have read Yann Martel’s Life of Pi were impressed with director Ang Lee’s adaptation of such a heavy piece of fiction. 

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